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The ultimate compilation of funny jokes
#1
Having big boobs and ass is cool and sweet
Until it's time for u
To run for ur life in the market
U will understand the difference between 911 and j5
.
*To those who have been in relationships for more than 5 yrs*
*Pliz assist me with past papers*
.
Some girls be like
My ex left a big hole in my heart ...
You think you can decieve us
We know where the big hole is my sister
.
<h><b>
If You Still Remember Your EX's Name,
That Means You Haven't Moved On.
.
Thank God I Totally forgot Princess.
When proposing to an ugly chick
Guys be like...
" I hate to say this, but I love you"
.
Any Guy Who Raise His Hands To Beat A Girl Has Never Raised That Hands In Class
.
*My Oyinbo friend asked me "why Nigerians will lock their
car via remote and hear the lock sound and still check the
door to be sure"?*
*I told him that we like to be very sure. Our village people
might have played the lock sound in our ear.*
.
All these poor men harassing their wives for not giving
them
a male child, please what will The male child inherit???
Dis is not d one doing me nw....
.
Married people will make love almost every night = no pregnancy
Young youths will just write text message and belle will enter.... hw manage???
Me ayam not understanding again oooo
.
Who noticed this?
Yoruba people shout on phone,Igbo people lie on phone,Hausa people always call the wrong number.
.
Dhat awkward moment in hospital when you see a mosquito coming out from the HIV ward towards you
Taaa!! Taaaa!!!!..
.
If they can only do," WORLD NO MAKE UP ND NO WIG DAY" you wee realize that we are all men...
.
She was the love of my life until she posted, "MAMA I MAKED IT" instead of "MAMA I MAID IT"
.
Is it that nollywod can not give us a good thunder lighting or what? What we normally see is something that looks like stretch marks...
.
Just imagine ursef a Girl getting 2 heaven's gate and the angel called
u by ur facebook name "Good day miss dopest queen aka
pepper dem gang the baddest bitch ever liveth" ****sister no need to look for ur name wheter in de book of life or death, do ursef gud by just turning
around and go to hell. Lolxxxxxx
.
I have been hearing its a small world, its a small world since I be pikin...
Yet I have not met Dangote, Beyonce or Bill gate...
Abi are we not in the same world??
.
Nobody walks faster than a man accompanying an ugly girl in the morning after a one night stand....
.
Yesterday day i went to police station to certify some copies.. i was so impressed to find a police officer reading the bible, then i ask him. "So sir who killed Goliath with the sling?" To my surprise he said, "go to constable Charlie he's the one who deals with murder cases"
.
When money is involve,
Girls be like "Oh My God I love him,His ugliness is so cute"
.
If you are fat and we dating...you are free to cheat . I can't eat the whole cow alone ?
.
I'm about going into a serious relationship , thinking of using
Cement & sand to make it stronger
. What do you think??
.
Girls of nowadays don't cry after breakup ,
they behave like Cashiers in bank... They be like,
"Next Customer Please"..
.Don't go to a Yoruba party and fight ooo ,
even their Stew is a Weapon
.
Nigeria again !! How can one egg be 70#
Did the chicken lay the egg through Operation ?
.
Niggas be like, "Hi: my name is Nick..
Then you hear their Mum shouting "Nicodemus!!
.
Three boys are in the school playground bragging on how great their fathers are.
The first one says, "Well, my father is the fastest, he fires an arrow and gets there before it.
The second said his father can shoot a gun and get there before the bullet.
The third listens to them and shakes his head and said, "You two know nothing about being fast. My father is a civil servant, he stops working around 4:30pm and gets home by 3:45pm.
.
Some neighbours wicked ooo
A man ran to his neighbour
Man:please my wife is in labour, help me carry her to the hospital
Neighbour: when you are doing it,do you ask for my help....so why now
.
My girlfriend told her friends that I have a small penis, she was shocked when all her friends disagreed with her.
.
.
Do you see how God is fighting for me?
Don't fall in love with a Guy Who loves u for ur legs, Hips, Ass, Laps Sister Direct Him to Chicken republic u r not a chicken
.
Ladies, don't kill urself trying to wear expensive hair to impress us ,some of us don't even know the difference between Brazilian hair and Goat hair!
.
At my age I still dodge when thunder strikes it's not like am evil ooo I'm being careful just in case of mistaken identity u knw anything can happen in NAIJA
Good night dearie.
.
Funny enough buhari has done things o.... None of which were favourable for Nigerians
*I can't believe i was born without my permission.*
.
Buhari should pls take his change and give us our balance.
Abeg We are not doing again
.
To whom it may concern
Before you fall in Love make sure you photocopy your heart and keep the original at home!! Just in case.
Lol
.
Women and dick wahala!A lady went 2 a Doctor n complained dat her husband's penis is too long. She said "when ever he inserts it in me, its so long dat it touches my heart". D doctor replied ok: bring him, I'll operate it n make it smaller. D lady shouted "Nooooooh 4 wot? Just shift my heart up a little.....
.
A pregnant wife calls her husband
Wife: where are you??
Husband: I'm at the club drinking beer
Wife: the baby is coming. .
Husband: no no no! He won't be allowed, he's under 18
.
guy: hello baby
girl
guy:baby answer me
girl
guy:baby are u there?
girl
guy: take 235799927686739********
girl: wow but it's not full
guy: fill it with water
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#2
ahahah,wonderful compilation!
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#3
@Audu nice ultimate and funny compilation

You do well..
Laughter_Is_The_Best_Medicine
Jokes is the reason for HappYness
Be cool @ it
1 Heart
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#4
Kudos To U @Audu
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#5
Nice jokes, but would be better split for easy digestion.
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